dear self: a peptalk.

1. Sometimes life is hard. And things pile up. And you're at the bottom of that pile and maybe, for a little while, you'd like to stay there. And feel sorry for yourself. Don't do it.

2. Sometimes money is a pain. Sometimes you wish it didn't exist. Or maybe you wish it grew on trees. But money isn't the answer.

3. Sometimes you just want to go home. Well, Thanksgiving is less than a week away. Wish granted.

4. Sometimes you don't like wedding planning. And that's okay. Maybe you should just relax and realize that everything's going to work out just fine.

5. Sometimes a good cry can solve a lot of problems. But don't let it last too long. You're not that pathetic.

6. Sometimes you need to remember that you have a lot of happiness. And happiness is a gift that you choose to open everyday.

7. And sometimes, you just need to go buy yourself a milkshake.

xo, yourself.

a letter to my future students.

I think you're wonderful, perfect, beyond brilliant.

More than capable, full of insight, creativity, and compassion for others. Your mind is your ultimate asset -- the ticket to all the places you want to go. Your ideas are good, justified, important, worthwhile, necessary. You're necessary.

Some subjects will be hard and that's a bummer. Sometimes you'll want to give up (that's also a bummer). Don't do it. Want to know a secret? Math is hard for me. Really, really difficult. The-I-Want-To-Quit-Right-Now difficult. But I didn't quit, still won't quit. Because I believe in myself, believe in my abilities. Just like I believe in your abilities. In everything you do. I believe in you.

You don't know everything. Neither do I. We never will. Isn't that exciting? Everyday we get to learn new things. Maybe we'll share them with others. Or maybe we'll keep them to ourselves for awhile. That's okay, too. Either way, learning is a gift; a special project of which we are all a part. We all learn. Every single one of us. If we're not united in anything else, we are united in that.

Stay curious. Ask more questions. Compliment your friends. Ask for help. Give help when you are asked. Give help when you are not asked. Take pleasure in reading simply to read. Skip down the hallway. Enjoy your classmates. Appreciate your education.

One day you will go out into the world. And you will have all the equipment you need. You are all smart and kind individuals with a special place on this planet and a special place in my heart.

image.

Dear Gap Inc.,

It's okay. We all go through periods in our lives when we make bad decisions. You took awhile, but it's nice to see you coming out of that. We really need to talk, though. See, I was a loyal customer even throughout your poor decision making (i.e. You didn't produce any cute clothing.), and I still came to your store just to check and see if you'd brushed up on your skills a little. You never did, but I continued trying. Last night I went to your website. Just checking again. You know. And there it was. Cute clothes. Everywhere. And you know what? They were overpriced. And I couldn't afford them. And since I've been such a good friend and all, I think you should do something for me. Just make all the items in my cart go on super sale. Okay? That's called compromise. It's an important part of every successful relationship.

Love your faithful customer,
R.

a letter.

Dear Mom and Dad,

Thank you. Thank you for giving me a childhood -- one full of dreams, magic, and laughter straight from the belly. A room to call my own that could be decorated and messied and lived in. Thank you for manners, pleases and thank yous, and smiles that go a long way. Thank you for old movies on rainy evenings that beg for grilled cheese sandwiches. Thank you for letting me play in the rain, run down the street barefoot, and for asking me to wear my helmet. Thank you for dogs and the total adoration they gave to me. Thank you for fresh fruit, vegetables, and family dinners every night. Thank you for building the treehouse in the backyard. Thank you for Thai food on the beach and marathons of Northern Exposure reserved for summer nights. Thank you for an imagination -- the time and freedom to think, create, dream, be. Thank you for good music. For the Beatles. Wilco. Coldplay. Thank you for pursuing passions, which gave me the strength to pursue my own. Thank you for showing me that love trumps money, and that love comes at the most unexpected times. Thank you for showing me what good love is, what role a parent can play, how to turn something negative into something positive. Thank you for letting me know that crying is okay, good even. Thank you for letting me paint my room often. Thank you for style and grace and the power of forgiveness. Thank you for teaching me that vacations are worth more than any price tag that may be placed upon them. Thank you for teaching me that knowledge of the world around me is more valuable than most things. Thank you for exposing me to the history of this great country of ours. Thank you for letting me make mistakes even when it was hard for you not to interfere. Thank you for helping me to recognize the value of friendship and for allowing me to be myself. Thank you for loving me.

Love, Rox

image.

the sick day.

{Should I get my bangs back? I don't know, still deciding. Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated. And I promise Andy loves me. He was just being the Diva that he is. Oh, and I'm still pretending to grow my hair out, but I have to ask: Is it still pretending if I think I'm actually doing it? I have had only 3-4 urges to cut it all off, but I have yet to do so. My friends, I think I'm growing up & growing it out.}

{Will you please look at my dog in the bottom left corner? You're in love, right? So am I.}

Well, there seems to be some kind of bug going around campus, and I got hit with it. Have no fear, though. I stocked up on Emergen-C, (My secret cure. Get the orange kind.) and some NyQuil, and I think I missed the worst of it. However, I did sit in my cozy chair all day and watch chick flicks, which helped immensely, naturally.

I also pretended to be sophisticated and flirted with the idea of drinking my green tea without sugar, but that seemed silly.

Dear sugar, I promise to never turn my back on you. People pretend to like things without you, but I think they're lying. You don't have to worry about me, though. I am loyal to a fault, especially to you.

And I saw Jeffrey for more than 10 minutes, so I'm feeling pretty great right now. Except for the stuffy nose, the clogged up ears, and the overall feeling of bleh-ness. But hey, who's complaining, right? Not me. xo, R.

Dear Night Time Rain Storm,

I love you. I just really do. There is nothing more pleasant than falling asleep to your soggy symphony. You do it to me every time — make me feel relaxed and cozy and content — and the distant grumbles of thunder are a really nice touch. Thanks for keeping the big, scary, crashing thunder noises out of the picture tonight. I mean, sometimes they're okay, but they're a little freaky. And they really scare my dog, who's just way too old and sweet to be worrying about anything. And thanks for waiting to appear until tonight. There's nothing like a good, night time rain storm to make me feel happy. The ones in the middle of the day are okay, now and then, but they just make everything so sticky, you know? The night time ones do this really magical thing. This thing that makes the early morning feel kind of cool. It puts a pep in my step. So thanks. Really.

xo, R.

Dear Produce Section,

Thank you for all of the lovely citrus you've had in stock lately. I have been enjoying Ruby Red Grapefruit for breakfast every morning and oranges in the afternoon. I'm a little upset that it's no longer apple season because my beloved Honeycrisps have disappeared. But that's okay, they were expensive, anyway. I'm a little disappointed with your grape selection, as it seems that you never have green ones in stock. And if you do, they look kind of gross. I'm no longer impressed by your watermelon. Sorry. It seems kind of mealy, and that's something that I just can't get into. And thanks for having unbelievably small zucchinis and squashes in stock — they are the perfect size for Jeffrey and I's Squash & Zucchini Pasta.

Oh, and as an aside: I appreciate your colorfulness and overall good mood. You're my favorite section of the grocery store.

Love, R.

Dear Bed,

Why are you so comfy?
Why is it impossible to leave you when it's rainy out?
And why did you make me hit the snooze 3 times this morning?
You made it so hard to go to class today. And I was so tempted to come right back and sleep until things started looking better.

Thanks for making stressful weeks seem not-so-bad.

xo,
R.