Thursday, April 5, 2012
Jeffrey and I have spent the entirety of our relationship in the same town, at the same school. It has been one of the strongest and most centering aspects of our relationship. For the better part of our relationship, I have never taken that for granted. But every now and then I forget. I forget that I am blessed and lucky to spend my days beside my one true love.
But last week, he went to Seattle. On a trip. For one week. And I remembered. Remembered what it felt like to be apart for a few days. I walked into our apartment after he left and felt a sudden surge of loneliness. Me, the independent one who craves time alone. I walked to his closet and touched his shirts. I was that girl for one minute, wallowing in my own self-pity and feeling perfectly justified in it. As I stood in front of his closet, I thought to myself, Well, this is certainly over dramatic. And it was. Oh, it really was. But it felt good. It was nice to remember what it felt like to be without him for a bit.
Why? Because it reminded me that I can't be without this person. I made a commitment to spend the rest of my days by his side and this is why. Because I love him. And I get sad when he leaves for a week. And when we're reunited, I'll be thankful that I can sit in the kitchen while he cooks dinner. I'll be thankful to do his laundry now and then. I'll be thankful to clean our house. I'll be thankful for it all if it means I get to hug him whenever I want.